one year older

I turned 33 last Monday.

As far as birthdays are concerned, it wasn't high on the scale in terms of celebratory themes. Truthfully, ever since my 30th birthday, I had sort of decided not to make much of birthdays. Though I do look forward to doing something that I want to do on that particular day, planning parties and stuff like that has just been thrown out of the water. What I have found is that parties  - and all the work it takes to plan them - aren't really all that much fun when you have to prep for them and clean up after them. I LOVE hosting and the food part, but the older I get, the less I enjoy the overall experience, especially with two very small children to try to care for in the process. 

So this birthday was meant to be very low key. I wanted to go to the mountains, go on a long, exhausting hike (either the Gahuti Backcountry Trail or the James E. Edmonds Backcountry Trail) and eat a good meal. That's it. But with the passing of my Uncle Clyde, our plans changed. We rescheduled the family birthday dinner to the night of my birthday. My hopes of a quiet date night with my honey were dashed and though we still got the chance to go on a hike, we didn't make it to the mountains. It was okay though. The hike was great... we did the full loop at Gold Branch which was about 3.5 or so miles... the majority of it was along Bull Sluice Lake which is the reservoir created by Morgan Falls Dam on the Chattahoochee River. There is plentiful wildlife viewing and serenity to be found. We enjoyed it. Afterwards, we had lunch at the Fickle Pickle where I had a pimiento cheese/bacon/pepper jelly grilled cheese. HELLO!? Amazing.

For my birthday, in case you were wondering... I got a subscription to Mother Earth News, a chicken raising guide, three CD-ROMs containing almost (together) 60,000 pages of early 20th century farm/field/livestock/survival guides, a camp kitchen, new grey wool blend Toms, Ken Burns' documentary, "The War" DVDs, and a Target and Starbucks gift card. :) Oh and some clothes from my mother-in-law.

This past year has been full of challenges. Personally, spiritually, financially, emotionally. I see more wrinkles and lines than ever. The important thing is that I am learning in this season. Things are changing. There is hope of Spring. I am not sure where I will be this time next year. My hope is for some dreams to have become reality. My prayers are for simple things... a yard for my children to run in and for a garden, to be able to be the wife and mother that I need to be for my family, to be more available for these roles... the things I hope for and aspire to are simple. I just want to be content, available, and present. 

Spiritually, I feel impressed by the Lord to practice more grace towards others and to operate out of that place more instead of a place of fear which results in judgment. Everyone is messed up in some way. No one is perfect. Everyone needs the Love of Jesus that looks beyond EVERYTHING into the depths of their hearts and embraces the core of who they are. The Love that gives a million second chances. So much peace to be found in this, for sure. 

Anyway, I don't have all day to blog. I gotta go change a poopy diaper and go to Target. 

Here are some photos from our hike last Monday.

Bless y'all,

Brooke

harriman, tennessee

My Uncle Clyde died last Wednesday. October 3rd. 

I wasn't extraordinarily close to him in my adulthood, though as a child I remember warmly the attention received from him. His voice and laugh and smile are so distinct in my mind. Him calling me "Brookie"... so clear in my mind today. Uncle Clyde was the last of the line from my great-grandmother Sarah Elizabeth and Papa Collins (James Amos Sr.)... Papa and Sarah Elizabeth had Sissy, Clyde Ray, James Amos Jr. (my granddaddy) and Gene. Sarah Elizabeth died when Gene was three months old from sepsis as a result of untreated mastitis. Gene was sent away to be raised by my great grandmother's parents at three months of age. The other children, including my grandfather, were cared for by other family for a couple of years before Papa Collins met and married who I knew as Granny and they took the children back home... Papa and Granny had two children unto themselves... Betty and Paul. Betty and Paul survive and are precious holders of stories and memories otherwise held captive in the graves of my Granddaddy, and now my Uncle Clyde...

There aren't enough pages here on this blog to capture the things I learned that added to my memory while I was away in Harriman, Tennesee last weekend. My Uncle Clyde was interred in Roane County Memorial Gardens where my grandfather lies today... Roane County, where my whole family has lived for generations... just a small patch of Tennessee along the ridge and valley system, off US-27... small town that everyone wants to get away from... that my mother did, "The Hill" we all come back to, the land my Granny purchased with the help of my Granddaddy, who in turn it was given to... where my Grandmama grows old today... living in the same house my Granddaddy built, where my mother and her sisters were raised, where so much goodness and tragedy transpired... in so many ways, in all its brokenness, it is home... the only homestead our family has to return to... as Tennessee backwoods and hillbilly it is, I love it so very much. 

And I will miss my Uncle Clyde... the only connection growing up that I ever had to my Granddaddy... So sad to know he is forever gone away. So many questions I wished I had asked...

stroll at gold branch

Last week Noah and I went on a hike at Gold Branch along the Chattahoochee.

I took these photos with my iPhone.. they aren't too good, but they capture the beautiful features of this hike. You can stroll the water line of an inlet and view a ton of wildlife along the way. It was a gorgeous day and our hour or so on the trail only left me wanting for a much longer hike. There is a longer trail that goes along the water line that I want to do - hoping for this week for another go at it. 

For now, enjoy these photos.

So good to be in the woods...