birthday aspirations: thirty-two in t-minus 5...

So, in five days, I will be thirty two years old.

Up until my thirty-first birthday, I was always really uptight about how and when my birthday would be celebrated.  I never would leave the birthday planning up to anyone else, simply because I didn't trust them to actually do anything for me in the first place, and in case they might, I didn't want to leave the "how" of it up to chance. I guess it kind of sucks to plan your own birthday party every year. I had high hopes for my thirtieth, which I also planned myself and exerted a great deal of energy executing... and it was a real let down. So I decided at that point never to do that again - at least have unrealistic expectations about a party I plan for myself, and to give others - specifically my husband - the opportunity to do something FOR me, for once... And he delivered a fantastic surprise birthday party for me last year, when I was nine months pregnant with sweet Noah. My friend Jessica and I were pregnant and due about the same time, and she went into labor at my party, and had her sweet Madi the next day. :)

So this year, he's off the hook and I planned my own thing again, but only just tonight... I did wait, and gave myself time to not care about my birthday, whether or not it would be special, and to not care if anyone came, and so that's that. I don't care, but I planned a party. So there. Well, maybe I do care. Sort of.

My parents have the most amazing backyard/garden and a great fire pit, with lots of room for the kids to run, and a great house for entertaining, and with as much as my stepmom and I love to entertain, well, it's a natural location for us to have a potluck/bonfire soiree with friends and family. Fall is a great time to be born. Both of my boys and I were born in October. I am really looking forward to it, and will post up when it's all through!

There is one thing that remains consistent, and that is my annual birthday dinner at my Mom's house. My stepdad's birthday is on the 3rd, and mine is on the 8th, so we usually combine to celebrate together. My sister and her family come over, Mom cooks an awesome dinner (usually very southern, and totally comfort food) and we have the most incredible chocolate cake EVER - it's a VERY special recipe and it's reserved for birthday dinners only. Even when I had my baking business, I refused to use this recipe because I didn't want to taint it or over use it in any way... This year it was pot roast (with carrots and potatoes), salad, green beans, bread rolls and ... well that was it. And divine. Of course, we had "the cake". And it too was divine. I think Jason ate 1/3 of the cake. As usual.

I want to start out my birthday week with some sort of intent... I think one thing that's so great about blogging is that you are accountable in some sort of way to the stuff you write about. And I've been thinking... I am entering my thirty-third year. And well, 33 is a bit significant; Jesus began his ministry at 33 or thereabouts... and I guess, well, maybe that's supposed to be a year where you sort of "arrive" at some sense of who you have become, and have a better idea of where you WANT to go, and you might have the resources to actually get there, given that you are 33 and all. Now I'm not saying with confidence that I'm in that place, but in some ways, well, I am. And I've decided to write out a list of aspirations for the coming year... things that I hope to accomplish, goals, ya know, and what not. And there's also where I feel like the Lord is taking me personally that I may share about. Or something like that. And I also hope to write about things I have learned over the last year. After all, that deserves some tribute. I have indeed learned so much with all that life has dealt us and out of all the decisions that we've made. There've been disappointments... lots of high highs and low lows. I sure hope that I will have time for all of this that I've just committed to! ha! So stay tuned...

And some news since Thursday:

• Noah had vaccinations (only 3 at a time) on Thuesday, and that evening came down with a fever of 103! He had a high fever for two days, then a decent one the third day, very crabby, awake all night, just a horrific time for him. I spent the last few days thinking he'd had a reaction to his vaccines... took him to the doctor today to find out that he actually has STREP!!! So rare for little ones to get it, but when he came down with a rash all over his little chest and back, I just knew it was strep. And I was right. So that has been consuming our lives lately.
• My great aunt Helen passed away late Wednesday night. :( I have lots of memories of her. She had such a distinct personality and I just loved her, she was so sassy. Drove a looong way to her funeral Sunday alone with three kids. Saw many extended family members (my Papaw's brothers and sisters...) that I really need to connect with, especially my Uncle Henry - he was with my Papaw when he died and I just want to be close to him, because he reminds me of my Papaw. More on that later. Made me think a lot about my Mamaw and how she is growing older... 
• Spent all the time in between helping my mother in law clean up her new place and get it ready for her to move in. It's such a nice house. I'm so excited for her!

Anyways... moving right along...

Goodnight friends!

Brooke