It's been really hard for me to get into the Christmas "spirit" this year. The house is in shambles, we're moving and the tree has yet to be put up. We normally decorate the day or so after Christmas and do something to commemorate the occasion, but alas, not this year. We're hoping to move into the town house by the weekend before Christmas. Still I feel very detached and removed... I'm avoiding packing, and avoiding all things Christmas... to keep the reminders from myself and my kids... I almost cried walking through Wal-Mart, which is kind of ridiculous, since Christmas isn't about the gifts or stuff anyway... I don't mean to be sullen, I just mean I haven't really been into "it" this year. And I generally have grown to detest the holidays anyway... too many ways to be divided, too much to feel.
Anyway, I was just goofing around on Facebook and scrolling thru everyone's updates, and saw the cover of Sufjan Stevens' "Songs for Christmas" album... it is probably the only thing I've listened to in the last few years in terms of Christmas music. I just love the guy and his creative genius, so simple, yet so profound... and his interpretations of each song are so delicate, but so strong. The way they should be played... quietly contemplative of the season, what it's really all about... for me, it is God sending a redeemer in the most humble and even scandalous way, so that the Scripture in Hebrews (4:14-16 as interpeted by Eugene Petersen in The Message) holds true:
"We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help." It's about the fact that he came, and I just love him for it. My life is for him.
What I am trying to say is that when I saw the album cover, I passed it, then feverishly went back to try to find it, because I realized... HEY! I need to listen to this! So I did. And it made me profoundly happy. Like, true happiness, lightness of heart, and contentment.
So without further ado, enjoy some of Sufjan's wonderful music, and see some pictures of past Christmasses we've celebrated.
Christmas 2009 - spent most of it in Chicago. Best Christmas ever.
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| we brought the old family home back to life. |
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| the home Jason's grandfather built. |
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| Jason carving the turkey in his late grandmother's kitchen |
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| Christmas Eve |
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| Christmas morning... Santa's letter to Dakota |
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| even Shelby got a toy and she was so happy about it! |
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| the chair is vintage - used to be my MIL's |
Christmas 2010
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| my Mom and Noah |
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| my Dad and Noah |
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| Mamaw and Noah |
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| Christmas dinner at my house w/ my whole fam - these are my brothers and sisters (Lori and David are missing) |
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| Christmas Eve at our house |
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| Santa came... |
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| and so did the snow... on Christmas Day. |
i know how you feel. we are in a similar situation as your family. job loss, financial struggles, illness, you know. i find slowing down and focusing on the gifts that we are blessed with, our beautiful family, being able to spend more time together, my days get a little brighter. i love sufjan's christmas album too. have a blessed christmas.
ReplyDeleteAmanda - the gift of this season is truly that we are learning what REALLY matters. And if we can hold onto what we learn this has truly been the most invaluable time of our lives. <3
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