dream

I had a dream last night. I don't dream really, so when I do, it's a big deal.

You were pregnant (but only showing a little bit), and someone was throwing you a baby shower somewhere I didn't recognize. I was there and there was no awkwardness or fear. I knew people there but in my conscious mind I really don't know how. It was the first time we'd seen each other in years. 

I don't recall much of the festivities. The main part of the dream was walking outside and hugging you, my friend, like I hadn't seen you in years. Pure and simple. 

You and I sat on a porch swing, but not one of those porch swings that are actually on a porch, but, you know, the redneck kind you can buy at Wal-Mart that are attached to some kind of frame? Yeah, one like that. It was in the middle of the yard. 

We sat down and talked about everything and anything and mostly made amends in the most right and awesome way. Like two friends who loved and respected each other. By the end my heart was full. This is something I have longed for to this day in the natural, but I guess God answered my prayer and gave it to me in my dream life.

After that, I went to one of your shows. In a big ass stadium full of people. It was awesome. 

And then my little boy crawled into my bed and woke me up.

It was one of the better dreams I've had in a long time... the answer to my heart's recent resurgence of sadness about what happened. 

I just want you to know that I loved you like a sister, I did then,  and I still have love for you in my heart and wish that it could all be done over again. It ended badly, but it wasn't all bad. There was a lot of good, and that is the part that makes me the most sad. But I am thankful for this dream, no matter how much I wish it could have been reality.

That's all.

With so much love,

Brooke