just so you know

photos from November 2009

Hey y'all. It's Thanksgiving Day. At this moment, I am sitting in my pajamas (and the kids are still in theirs too), with three or four loads of laundry to fold and put away, a coconut cake to finish, squash casserole to bake and brussel sprouts to roast, myself and three children to wash and dress, all before 12:30PM. And yet I am still sitting down to write this little blog post. 

Maybe it's a bit compulsory, since it's Thanksgiving and all, and what kind of blogger would I be without somehow making my imprint on the holiday's commentary with my own post on thankfulness? 

Even still, I just wanted to say hey, and say this: I probably don't talk enough about what I am thankful for in the day to day, especially on this blog. Writing through what I am working through usually means y'all get to see the nitty gritty dirty yuck of my head and my heart more than you see the things that I am actually thankful for... or that I am actually grateful overall for so many things. I think blogging has made me see that I am more of a glass half empty person - or maybe I have just become that through the last few years, having struggled with hope, having felt a sense of loss and wrestling with change. 

I have been through some things this year that have caused me to really love, long for and enjoy my children more... working again outside the home has caused me to cherish my time with my children and performing the daily formerly meaningless tasks like changing diapers and giving baths to become that much more sacred to me. Waking up in the mornings to their soft sweetness has become one of the days greatest joys. Meeting their needs is no longer just a requirement, but a joy to perform. My senses towards them have been heightened. I am grateful for this shift.

With my husband, I recognize the drains on our time together... the way parenting can sap the energy between us, the conscious and subconscious drive to have space in contrast with the way time alone together actually reenergizes our parenting and our relationship. Things aren't always perfect. Something is always wanting in this area... with an older "special" child, and two small children, all very unique and needy, we have a hard time connecting sometimes. But we see it for what it is and hopefully take things less personally these days... I am thankful for this. 

For shelter, for food, for opportunities that are provided only by God for our future, for vehicles that work on which we have no car payment, for not-very-much-debt, for loving, supportive parents, for healthy children, for the hope that I have because of God's great love for me... I am thankful.

So I guess this has turned into a post about thankfulness, huh?

Today we're going to my Mom's for the day. Friends and family will be joining us. The weather will be awesome, and the kids will be able to play in the tree house and in the woods in t-shirts this Thanksgiving Day. I am going to eat and later sit by the bonfire and enjoy fellowship and revel in the sacrament of this present moment. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.