So, a few weeks ago my husband and I attended a "fellowship group" at the home of a friend. I will leave it at that. During the course of the evening, the host of the group made a statement that was - from our perspective - borderline heretical. His very words were, and I quote*: "I'm not saying that there is no need for the bible, we would definitely be weaker without it; however, it simply can not replace a personal relationship with Jesus. Because it is not him. The bible is not the word of God, it's more of a treasure map that points us to him."
Naturally, when these words were spoken, Jason and I met eyes across the room and our "red flags" went up... waaaay up. Long story short, but a debate ensued with the host, and I saw my husband get very heated, angry and passionately defend what we believe which is that 1) the Bible is the infallible, inspired Word of God from the Old Testament through the New, 2) that saying otherwise is a "new gospel" which dilutes the message of truth and the beauty of the gospel message which begins with revelations of Jesus and the Trinity all the way back to Genesis. Is he human? Yes. Did he handle it perfectly? No. But he tried his best, and the fire in his belly to defend the Word, I deeply respect. The meeting quickly adjourned. We went home grieved, distressed, and saddened by what took place, mostly because there were very vulnerable people in the room who could have been swayed by their statements. We were also grieved because we had hoped to connect with this family as friends.
I didn't tell anyone about what happened. My husband and I kept it to ourselves. We didn't talk about this with anyone - people I worked with, family, friends... no one. I decided to extend the love of Christ to my friend and maintain a friendship with her at work. Regardless of her beliefs there was no reason for me to be ugly towards her. Mostly, I felt confused but saddened about the situation.
Imagine my surprise when I stumble across her husbands blog this week to discover his account of events. This person has an international ministry, with influence and the ability to reach thousands of people with his words. Last time I checked, Paul admonished teachers to basically be squeaky clean because they'll be held to a higher level of accountability... so when I read the words "psycho", "scrawny little coward" and "moron" as descriptors for my husband in this public forum, among other hurtful statements about the both of us, I was shocked, hurt, amazed and befuddled.
First, I was upset for the way he described the events, which were twisted in such a way to dishonor and disrespect. I was there, there was no finger wagging, whining or woe-is-me-ing. Secondly, amazed that this person who supposedly has significant influence in ministry lacks the judgment to edit his statements about fellow brothers and sisters in Christ before he puts his statements out on the internet. Did he think that we wouldn't find out? What does he expect to achieve with his hurtful, slanderous statements? What does he think other believers (and non-believers alike) reading his statements will derive from the things he said about his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? If you call someone a name, "Christian" or not, it's not nice. It's wrong.
I have been on a roller coaster ever since I found his blog and read his words. Part of me really wants my friend to know that I KNOW that they have said these things about us. And she may find this blog post just as I found his. I don't really care to discuss what happened. I just really want them to know I KNOW about what they've said. I desire to defend my husband's honor. But I realize that there is no reconciling this situation. We are from two different camps... two different tribes. What would be the point of them knowing? What would it stir up that would be positive or move us towards reconciliation? How would there be justice if I were to confront the situation?
The other side of me is really searching for God's heart. All I could think about last night was the scripture in 1 Peter 4:8: Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. And at the end of the day, trying to make another man pay for the wrongs committed against you only keeps you in bondage, and doesn't release them to be subject to the discipline of the Lord. What would Jesus do? Sorry to be cliche, but that is exactly what has been rolling around in my head.
The things that have been coming to mind as I pray are...
- The woman caught in adultery.... she was cast down in front of the teachers of the law and the Pharisees. What does Jesus do? He is asked what they should do with her, given that the law determines she should be stoned. Jesus doesn't say anything. He bends down to write something in the dust. We don't know what he wrote. They keep questioning him. He keeps writing, and then he says, "let him without sin cast the first stone"... the teachers and Pharisees begin to draw back. Does he ever confront her or accuse her? No, he doesn't. He deals with her accusers. And then he asks her where they've all gone, now that they've examined themselves? Then he charges her to go and change her life.
- Proverbs 25:21-22: "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you."
- God loves them just as much as he loves us. And he sees the depths of their brokenness, and he sees the depths of our brokenness, and he is grieved when his kids talk smack about one another. And I know that the Cross is the great equalizer... we ALL are guilty of the same things we accuse one another about. In Matthew 7:3, Jesus says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" I feel like I really gotta be careful about judging... that we are more righteous, and they are less righteous, because none of that matters... because we reap our judgments... All of our righteousness was as filthy rags before Jesus, but through him all things are made new and made clean and right... when we place them into his hands.
Now I am not saying that we should all NOT confront wrongs committed against us... and just to be clear, the wrong I am struggling with here is the disrespect via name-calling that has taken place against my husband and I. There are DEFINITELY situations that require confrontation as part of the healing process for people who have been wronged. But there are times that I've found leaving well enough alone and taking the forgiveness route versus the confrontational route can be most healing, more redeeming and brings more peace.
I'm thinking that's the route I am going to take this time. To forgive and let it go. And that's it.
How about you? Have you ever been in this situation before? How did you handle it? What was the outcome?
*Disclaimer: The entire message from which this quote about the Bible is written out and posted on his website, and I am cutting and pasting verbatim from that message. If you would like to read the entire message, I can point you to it but via a private email message. All I can say is even taking it out of context doesn't change the fact that he said (and it is written on his website) "The Bible is not the word of God".
love your response here. these points apply to so many "sins" and "injustices" of today.
ReplyDeleteYes we have. Once, much in the way you described and once in a very passive aggressively deceptive way. The first time when it was very out in the open, the Lord led us to honor our word and trust Him to bring it out into the light. I had a hard time because innocent people were potentially being led astray, but the Lord reminded me that He is bigger and loves them more than I. The great thing is the Lord did exactly what he said he would. And in doing so, the truth all came out.
ReplyDeleteThe second time, it was with people in leadership we highly esteemed. Again, the Lord led us to a season of healing. This one hasn't been resolved although many people are being and have been effected. It's hard when it feels so personal, then harder when you realize that it's a integrity/character issue jeopardizing so many people.
So many of our leaders are shallow in their faith when it comes to application of the Word of God it is so sad and scary.
brooke, i'm so sorry you had to go through that! i will be praying for your heart and your husband's heart as you process through all of that. biggest thing i can say is - God is your defender. And HE will defend you. You need only to be still. Walk in love. Live in love. Bless those who curse you. (as super super hard as that is!) praying for you!!! lora
ReplyDeletePerhaps he is reading the Bible as many Christians and Jews throughout the ages have read it. Historically speaking, this "literal, infallible" method of reading the Bible is new, and it holds a minority position, save for our country, specifically certain pockets of it.
ReplyDeleteObviously he shouldn't have insulted you and your husband, especially on a public forum. Maybe he was passionately reacting against the idea of heresy. But debate is healthy, especially when it leads us to interfaith understanding as opposed to Christian colonialism and cultural homogeneity. Most Biblical scholars (even Christians) understand that the Bible as we know it today has gone through so much editing, for lack of a better word, much of which was political. The original sources for much of the New Testament have not been found. If you think about the serious anti-Semitism that clouded the views of the majority of the early "church fathers", 300-400 years after Jesus, including much later of course, Martin Luther, it's hard to put trust into a book compiled by people of these obvious political persuasions.
C.S. Lewis views much of the scripture as myth, and it was intended to be read as such. (I don't agree with C.S. Lewis on a lot, I'm just using him as an example of a pretty far-right scholar who is able to speak the language of myth and narrative.) The trinity is a historically Greek (not Jewish) idea that came later and is a completely otiose piece of Christian theology. There are countless virgin births found in other religions and mythologies, many of them written much earlier than the account of Mary and Jesus. The holidays Christians celebrate today came about politically as a desire (by Constantine) to infuse pagan practice with Christian theology, and are entirely different from the Jewish holidays Jesus and his disciples no doubt kept. Jews also infused their own narrative into earth-based "pagan" holidays, so it's no just Christians getting influenced, or doing the mixing, if you will. We are an evolving people, and we take from each other.
All of that being said, I think it is dangerous to view one book as infallible, and it has been the cause not only of hurt feelings but of violence, including genocide and all of the stuff we've seen historically but now, in Palestine. I don't think that Jesus needs unfounded belief in a book that has been carelessly mishandled throughout the ages, penned by humans of untold bias and cultural upbringings.
ReplyDeleteI believe rather than viewing religion as a worldview, we can come to see it as a narrative, as a journey a group of people has taken to come to know God. I'm not a relativist. I believe in truth. But I embrace the mystery, and I think that illogical devotion to words that should be approached not only emotionally but academically, only serve to isolate and divide us. They also make us feel artificially safe in a world where we aren't meant to hold all of the answers. I'm not writing this to insult you, but because I respect you, and your blog, and your faith. I come from a very evangelical, borderline fundamentalist background. For many people like that, when they lose this tenuous belief in Christian scripture as the word of God, they lose their faith, their friends, and their worldview, at once. People of all religions would benefit greatly by embracing the questions, the doubt, the mystery. It is important to read uncontested (by other scholars) things like Understanding the Bible by Stephen Harris, and academic works detailing the history of the Christian church.
M. Scott Peck lamented, in his study of spiritual development, this: "As far as I am concerned, one of the two greatest sins of our sinful Christian Church has been its discouragement through the ages, of doubt. In so doing, it has consistently driven growing people out of its potential community, often fixating them thereby in a perpetual resistance to spiritual insights. Conversely, the Church is not going to meet this challenge until doubt is properly considered a Christian virtue--indeed a Christian responsibility. We neither can, nor should skip over questioning in our development."
I've been on the other side of the fence, sans name-calling, and really still am. Sometimes the language we use is so sequestering, and I know, above all else, that this is not what we are meant to do here.
i'm so sorry. i've been in awkward, infuriating situations with brothers and sisters in Christ. there are some times when it's best to just let it go and move on. but i applaud you for standing up for what you KNOW is true....and still loving.
ReplyDeleteJesus doesn't just point us TO the word of God....He was and IS the WORD of God made FLESH. He doesn't just know about the word, He IS the word. The very word of God with skin on.
love you. YOU demonstrate LOVE. <3
I took my neighbor to an Encounter God weekend retreat with our church last year. We were close, I prayed with her, we had a connection. After the retreat she was vague about her experience and said simply, "I'm still chewing on what God was speaking to me". A couple days later I read her blog (which she knew I was one of like 15 subscribers) and she said my Pastor was "a wolf in sheeps' clothing", that we "had been tricked into going to crazy, demonic gathering", "this is a warning to not be deceived by false spirits", and on and on and on..... Even urged her followers to pray for her sweet neighbor who was deceived. The issue was over the gifts of the Holy Spirit(she doesn't believe that a spiritual language/tongues is still gifted to us today) and was extremely uncomfortable with it. I could go on and on about how everything was done "in order" and their was no crazy business whatsoever but that's not the point.....The point is, I did confront her, I was appalled, shocked at her inconsiderate and mean jabs. It was painful in my heart that she didn't recognize the sincere love I had for her. Hurt became indignant anger when she stood fast to her statements. It was a real mess. All that came of it was her feeling attacked, her husband becoming upset, my husband becoming upset, worst of all I was left with the anger that was rooting in my heart. I was fighting that sucker for weeks! I would release her and feel genuine peace and compassion and then before I realized it I was saying catty things about her again. It was up and down, up and down. We both tried to wipe it clean and maintain a friendship because we both know we can't live in unforgiveness. But, it was never the same. I think that your approach is right. Your denying your emotional urge to defend yourself and that IS what Jesus did...I love what you said about God not wanting His children to talk smack about each other. I think I'll remember that always. God has given you quite a way with words. This scripture reminds me that it doesn't mean we are faithless when we go through periods of heart pain, it's okay to not always be "joyful" and on top of the mountain. Isaiah 53:3 "He was despised and rejected--a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care." And you know what, Jesus washed Judas's feet even though He already knew that he had sold him out for 30 pieces of silver. The money was probably in his pocket even while Jesus knelt before him. Wow. What a beautiful Saviour we have.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I completely feel the same way. It is the living, breathing Word of God. And yes, Jesus is the word made flesh. The longer I've been "churched" the more I need love. and grace. and patience. and forgiveness. and God to remind me that I have more than enough of my own hang ups ;) and tha goats and sheep will be separated by the Shepard, not us. Thanks, again, Brooke.
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