from under his feathers

I don't even know where to start. My heart is overflowing with what I want to say, but I am having a hard time figuring out how to begin.

First, I ask you to please take six minutes and watch this video. Please. Don't forget to silence the playlist - on right side (open to feedback on that, by the way).

Okay. Do you need a tissue? I do. Or, I did when I watched this today.

What is it about the truth that reaches down past the hardness of my heart, the hardness of our hearts, our agendas, our comfort zone, reaches past our walls, and stirs us up into action, without condemnation, without judgment... it just reveals to us the heart of Jesus, so pure, so undefiled, and so scandalously full of love? He is the One who defied the religious order of his day to seek out the outcast, the One who chose to come into the world so scandalously, so as to be chased by judgment and scandal all his incarnate days... he was a conduit for the Father's love, only doing what the Father told him to do... desperate love, willing to demonstrate for us God's reckless pursuit of us, against all odds, against all reason... only to leave, to send the Spirit, that his work would be left to be done by those who followed him... oh, how I have failed.

I am in a constant state of struggling with the most simplest aspects of my faith - many of my friends know this, because just talking about Jesus and how "scandalous" he was, and how simple it is to follow him, just wrecks me to my core. I recognize how UNcomplicated it is to be a Christ-follower, and I am utterly devastated when I look at myself and other believers around me, not with a pointing finger, but realize collectively how far we have to go...

The "how far" is to step outside of our comfort zones, and to awaken our consciousness to NEED. To the outcast. Jesus said in Luke 14: 12-14:

“When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”


Holy crap! I mean, let's get real folks... How many of you have done that? I know I haven't. The truth is, to do this stuff, it will WRECK you - your pride, your whole EVERYTHING!! To be a Christ-follower is NO JOKE, people! This is not a life-enhancement! We are to sacrifice first, and the blessing comes later, in a way that is more deeply gratifying than can be expressed with words. This is so freaking huge. Yet so simple. I am so challenged. 


I know that there is a man down a few townhouses who is an alcoholic who befriended Jason, who lives with his horrifically alcoholic girlfriend, and then started coming around at odd hours, and scared me one day banging on the door looking for my husband... I got freaked out, and I told my husband I didn't want him coming around anymore. The truth is, he is an outcast. The kind of guy Jesus would be going after... Our other neighbor even told us all these bad things about him, and my walls have been way up since then. Today, sitting in church, all I could feel in my heart was that God was once again challenging us... what will you do about him? What will you do? This is not the first time this has happened where we've had someone who was clearly an outcast come into our comfort zone... when we lived at our old house, this man suddenly appeared to be living on our street. He was clearly psychotic and would walk the street, mumbling to himself, and sometimes stop by the house asking to use the cell phone ... then the cell phone thing turned into asking for BC Headache Powders... I had just had Noah and his ringing the doorbell would make the dog bark and wake the kids, and I was freaked out because he was a big guy, and what if I was home alone when he came over? All valid concerns... But the thought always plagued me... this guy was an outcast... and what would Jesus do for this man? We did some things to help him, and eventually he was taken to live in a home, but all the wrestling I went through over it was the beginning of a ripening of my heart to really considering what this "being a Christian" thing really meant. 


In Luke 14 (in The Message translation below), Jesus is talking about weighing the cost of being a disciple... WEIGHING THE COST... this means, folks, that when we decided to become Christ-followers, we ought to have weighed the COST... how much it would COST us to walk in his footsteps... not how much it would ENHANCE our lives... this is very serious stuff... I am totally wrecked by it... 


One day when large groups of people were walking along with him, Jesus turned and told them, "Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one's own self!—can't be my disciple. Anyone who won't shoulder his own cross and follow behind me can't be my disciple. "Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn't first sit down and figure the cost so you'll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you're going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: 'He started something he couldn't finish.' "Or can you imagine a king going into battle against another king without first deciding whether it is possible with his ten thousand troops to face the twenty thousand troops of the other? And if he decides he can't, won't he send an emissary and work out a truce?

"Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can't be my disciple.

"Salt is excellent. But if the salt goes flat, it's useless, good for nothing.

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?"

Even more unsettling is Matthew 25: 31-46... Jesus calls those who failed to meet the needs of the "least" as those who did not know him... and casts them away. What part of this do I not understand? This is paramount, fundamental to my faith.

There's not much more to say... 

I just really, really wanted to share this video with you guys, and share what I am really struggling through, and working through in my faith. And challenge you guys too through this video. 

THIS is the heart of God. And I want to know it, and BE it to the world. 

And if you have time to watch this too, do that... this wrecks me too.

I was hungry and you fed me, 

   I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, 

   I was homeless and you gave me a room, 

   I was shivering and you gave me clothes, 

   I was sick and you stopped to visit, 

   I was in prison and you came to me.